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Last week my BLT (Biggest Little Teacher) taught me the incredible lesson of TRUE BEAUTY.  After her example, I kinda snickered at the things I do and feel are a ‘big deal’.  I always think I have made a big difference when I do things like pick up trash on the beach or giving someone a hug that I’ve had relational challenges with, but BLT has taken the act of a “good deed” to a new authentic level.

Four weeks ago BLT started a new school- a middle school.  She only knew one person in the entire school and it was a boy that she was not close to.  She was very positive about meeting new people and figuring out how a new school works.  She even expressed her desire to meet everyone in the class and not create a “group” of friends.  So she was consciously sitting with different kids every day.   Her idea worked and through the weeks she was able to meet and know many of the 28 students.  Two weeks ago she mentioned one girl in her class did not like her.  I asked how she knew this to be true and she said, “Well she makes these really rude comments to me and rolls her eyes whenever I say something or join a group she is already in.”  I felt bad for my BLT, but I did not say much.  Last week she told me how another girl in her class was explaining to her, “You know why she does not like you?”  BLT said, “No, I don’t understand it.” The other girl said, “Because she is jealous of how pretty you are. She thinks she is ugly compared to you.” BLT was shocked because she thought the girl had the thickest pretties hair she had ever seen.  So, a little later in the day BLT walked over to the girl who did not care for her and said, “Hi, do you have a minute to talk?”  Fortunately the girls said, “Yes”.  BLT began,  “You know, I am sorry we have not been getting along so great. But, I guess I just feel a little jealous because you have such pretty hair and such pretty eyes.  You are so pretty!”  The other girl immediately responded, “I feel the same way about you!!”  Then they hugged and as BLT put it, “We are friends now.  And you know Mom, I was not lying, I really think her eyes and hair are super pretty!”.  WOW!  I sat there with tears rolling down my cheeks onto a huge smile.  BLT, smiled and giggled as she knows how emotional I can be.  I  hugged her all up and told her how much I love her and how much she continues to teach me.

BLT has brought kindness and compassion to a new level for me.  I asked myself for a few days if I had that kind of courage to swallow my own hurt feelings and go above and beyond to nurture another.  Well, I am still asking myself that now.  Can you just imagine how beautiful our world would be if pride was not revered as sacred, but kindness and compassion were?

Thanks again BLT!!!  I LOVE YOU!!!

Being a pre-teen is not always bubble gum and Instagram.  For many young ladies especially in our society, it can be extremely difficult emotionally and socially.  This summer I had the opportunity to watch my Biggest Little Teacher (BLT) turn a class camping trip- gone- bad, into a moment of kindness and support for another.

As a finale to my BLT’s 10 year term at her amazing school, we decided to send her off with her classmates to Catalina for a week of fun in the sun.  There was no cellular use or Facetime, so for 5 full days we had no contact.  I assumed “no news was good news” and could not wait to hear all about it when she got back.  I excitedly raced to the pick up location, hugged her all up and settled her into our car to hear every detail of her trip.  Once inside, my stomach grew a rock and my heart raced as I watched her big brown eyes well up with tears and spill onto her dark sun tanned cheeks.

“Oh Honey, what’s the matter”? I asked.  BLT just put her head in her hands and sobbed and sobbed.  Because I can’t stand when she is sad, I began shotgunning questions at her like, “Are you hurt?”, “Do you feel sick”? etc.  Finally after about 10 minutes, she turns to me and tells me how she made a mistake.  She was starving and had taken a cookie from her friend (who she has known for 10 years) without asking.  She was planning to tell her and apologize when she saw her next.  But, another girl who saw her take it went and told the friend that BLT had stolen a lot of cookies.  Both of these girls were BLTs tent mates, and as the stories got bigger and bigger, so did the tension in the tent.  BLT offered apology after apology, but her friend would not hear of it.   The other girl kept egging on the situation causing even more anxiety and anger.  BLT was very sad that her friend would not speak to her or even look at her.  To make matters worse, the girls in her tent vandalized her belongings when she was away from camp. BLT felt sad, confused and alone.

BLT became very distraught and cried a lot that day at camp.  On the 3rd day some of the older girls who were there to assist, took BLT under her wing and gave her encouragement and support.  They were like angels with impeccable timing.  That same day, the two girls took BLT’s belongings and dropped them in the dirt and told her to “find another tent to stay in”.  Luckily, BLT was able to room with the older girls and a bunch of other campers that were having a blast!  Gratefully, the last two nights she made new friends and had fun.  But, the pain of loosing a friend and feeling terrible for breaking her trust stayed with her for a long time.

A week after returning from Catalina, we were swimming at our community pool.  I was busy with my 2 year old and BLT was off swimming with another girl I had never seen before.  I was happy to see BLT making new friends.  When the girl left, I asked BLT who her new friend was.  She replied by explaining how she witnessed her being bullied.  She was in the jacuzzi and heard two other girls saying mean things about her new friend.  They were scheming of ways to “ditch” her and so forth.  So, BLT went up to the girl being bullied and said, “I know how it feels to be bullied, I just went through a week of it at camp”.  BLT befriended this girl and they had fun swimming together until they all had to leave.

I felt inspired by BLT’s courage and friendly support.  It gave me a feeling of hope and an instant heart opening.  Angels are always with us and they often appear when we are willing to receive the help.  I am grateful for the Angels BLT found in Catalina, and I was encouraged when BLT payed it forward a few days later.  With the awareness BLT offered me, I look forward to the moment when I can reach out to another in need.

I love you so much my sweet ever growing Teacher!

Now that my Biggest Little Teacher (BLT) is11 years old, her teachings have become much more subtle and powerful.  She has not only taught me through the years how to be amazed and touched by the infinite, but how to recognize my truth in all events in life.  BLT’s life purpose numerology is 9, which is all about “integrity and wisdom”.  Well, integrity is what our family is constantly being taught.  When she herself steps out of alignment with her inner truth or Universal truth, she tends to get “caught”.  She has been “busted” on so many things already.  When I was her age and younger I used to get away with all kinds of things… not my BLT!

This week, BLT forgot to turn in her field trip slip, send in the fee, and forgot a sack lunch.  She became the first kid in her class to miss a field trip because of missing items.  BLT was with her dad that day and I had printed out the information and reminded her to take to her dad.  Well, seems she forgot entirely.  Additionally, I was in the shower when school called looking for any last minute fix to get her on the 8 am bus.  The school also reminded me that this was the second time this has happened this school year…

Now, this is normal 11 year old behavior but for me it is always a battle between the “guilts” and the “strict parent”.  I want to make her feel ok and rescue her at all expense, yet I want to yell at her so she learns her lesson.  When she called a few minutes later and asked, “Since I am just sitting here can you come pick me up?” I told her I needed to get more information and would get back to her.  This is the first time I did not react with a super plan to rescue her or a super plan to make her feel bad about herself.  Instead,  I let it rest and simmer for a minute while I meditated and talked to God.  It became clear that this may be one of those times when I let the lesson be the teacher an give her the dignity of her own uncomfortableness.  This was not easy.  I especially found it difficult because every sentence I wanted to say to her included criticism and judgement.  I wanted to tell her, “Well you should have remembered your stuff, its not my fault!” or “You can just sit at school and suffer, maybe you’ll get it this time!”  These reactions are all programs I’ve been running for a very long time.

After a long talk with God, I felt good about how to proceed.  I had to be honest without humiliating.  I simply told her that I had already made appointments and plans for the day and I would be there at the normal time.  It felt wonderful to take care of myself and to respond instead of react.  BLT was also given an opportunity to create a new groove in her subconscious regarding the consequences of choices.

Of course, chewing on the fact that I did not rescue her, I was sure pick up time was going to be full of quiet pouting… on the contrary!  BLT was pleasant and cheerful as any other day.  I thank BLT for teaching me how to remain in integrity at any cost!!!

 

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best to make you just like everybody else means to fight the greatest battle there is to fight and never stop fighting- the battle to be yourself.”EE Cummings.

My Biggest Little Teacher (BLT) blew me away Thursday night… we were once again at the dining table grinding over math problems. As usual she ended up in a bucket of tears.  The poor girl hates to cry in front of  people, so she bolts to the bathroom shuts the door and releases (I guess its the best place to release!LOL) . She comes out with red eyes and my heart melts.  I ask her sit down and talk to me about how she is feeling.  After a long silence she tells me, “Mom, I am the worst person in math in my entire class!” and the sobbing gets intense.  I want to cry with her, my heart is tearing from top to bottom.  Somehow I keep it together, and hold her hand as we talk.  She says, “Mom its the worst to know I am the only one in class that needs help, no one else is as terrible in math at me – in my whole class!”  She is so upset her body is lurching as she sobs.  I just let her cry because I had no words that felt right.  Instead of speaking, I began praying like a mad woman in my mind.

When the crying subsided I let her know I understood and we would work on it together – she did not have to go at it alone. I gave her examples of how I was the worst at physics my senior year in high school and the teacher used to pass our tests back to us and announce our grade with attitude as he put it on our desk.  Talk about humiliating.  “Ms. Wong D+!”  UGH!  So, I told her how I did not want to hear that again and I actually spent time at home focusing and studying.  The next test I heard, “Ms. Wong… nice job B+… What happened?”  BLT was curious.  I pointed out how she is totally great at creative writing and drawing.  She responded with, “Yeah, but that is not going to get me a grade to pass 5th grade!”  Then she remembered, “Ms. Anita at school told me to write 10 positive things about myself and put it on a mirror.”  I told her that was an excellent idea!!!  I asked her to put her math aside and do it.  She hesitated and asked, “What if I can’t think of 10 things positive about myself?” Because I can’t help myself I talked to her about how the subconscious mind believes what we tell it because it cannot tell the difference between truth and make believe, so we might as well tell it what we want even if we don’t totally believe it yet.  Funny thing, she totally understood my “hypno talk”!LOL!!!  I left the room and she wrote down 10 positive things about her self, put them on stickies and added additional tape for added security.   She placed them on the mirror in our bathroom.  When she was done we came back to the math… she finished the entire worksheet in 1/3 the time it took her to go through 3 problems!  She got them right too. 🙂

Its times like these BLT reminds me just how powerful the heart and the subconscious are in our everyday lives.  I was so glad to see that one of her sticky notes read, “I have God in me”.  Positive energy works on such a grand scale that even I benefited from her process… every time I walk into the bathroom guess what I see…that’s right 10 positive things about Me!!!

Once again, listen to your children and notice the unexpected wisdom that will blow your socks off!

Blessings,

Jennifer

Jennifer Wong, CHt.
Group Meditation and Self-Hypnosis Instructor
jennifer@jenniferjade.com
www.jenniferjade.com
“YOU CANNOT SOLVE ANY PROBLEM WITH THE SAME MIND WHICH CREATED IT” ~ ALBERT EINSTEIN

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