Last week, on the way to pick up my Biggest Little Teacher (BLT) from school, my significant other (SO) and I got into an argument that left me very angry. So angry that I’d quit speaking and went into pouting mode. We pick up BLT from school and she is immediately angry because I did not pick up her finished pottery at the pottery shop as I said “I might”. I let her know I was sorry I did not get to it but the traffic was insane and there was not enough time. I tried to console her by reminding her that she had just been allowed to stay at school and extra 2 hours to be part of an extra curricular activity she loved. She didn’t care and proceeded to throw her backpack around the backseat and not speak to either of us. Great, now we had 3 people in the car pouting.
The entire 20 minute ride home I am biting my tongue because I want to tell her that she is a spoiled brat and should be grateful she got to enjoy the extra curricular activity at school. But, then I look over at my SO and remember I’m already angry because of the way he is and can’t take it out on BLT. Ultimately, its everyone else’s fault I am unhappy – of course! Poor me.
We get home and SO gets in the house first, leaving BLT and I to reach the porch alone. BLT turns around and says to me, “You know, I’m starting not to be so mad at you, but you really should have picked up my pottery.” That was it! I lost it, and I said, “Oh really, I’m not sure what you’re mad about, you got your way. You got to stay at school and have fun like you wanted. What do you have to be mad about?!!” BLT glared right at me, stomped in the house and ran into her room. I thought, “oh boy this pouting may last a decade.”
I decided that I was not going to give in. I felt completely justified with the anger I felt. So, I went on my merry way doing the tasks I needed to do while pouting. I was not going to run to either of them and make amends after all, it was not my fault! Poor me.
Ten minutes pass and BLT comes into my bedroom where I’m folding clothes and sits on the bed. She looks at me and without hesitation says, “Mom, I want to apologize for pouting and being bratty. I just thought you were going to get the pottery and I feel… oh I don’t know…” I suddenly felt ashamed for my behavior all afternoon. Here in front of me was a 9 year old kid who had more humility, love and awareness than most adults I know, including me. I felt the icy hot anger melt away as my heart began to open again. I found my voice and talked it out with BLT and later with my SO. Amazing how quickly a crappy day can be turned around when the pride and pouting are identified and then over-ridden! I guess I do have a choice and power over my own happiness. Thanks again BLT!
Gosh, as an adult, I think I know what I’m doing and tend to justify all my fits of anger and my pouting stints. Then, along comes a 9 year old girl to whip me into shape! Thank God!