Now that my Biggest Little Teacher (BLT) is11 years old, her teachings have become much more subtle and powerful. She has not only taught me through the years how to be amazed and touched by the infinite, but how to recognize my truth in all events in life. BLT’s life purpose numerology is 9, which is all about “integrity and wisdom”. Well, integrity is what our family is constantly being taught. When she herself steps out of alignment with her inner truth or Universal truth, she tends to get “caught”. She has been “busted” on so many things already. When I was her age and younger I used to get away with all kinds of things… not my BLT!
This week, BLT forgot to turn in her field trip slip, send in the fee, and forgot a sack lunch. She became the first kid in her class to miss a field trip because of missing items. BLT was with her dad that day and I had printed out the information and reminded her to take to her dad. Well, seems she forgot entirely. Additionally, I was in the shower when school called looking for any last minute fix to get her on the 8 am bus. The school also reminded me that this was the second time this has happened this school year…
Now, this is normal 11 year old behavior but for me it is always a battle between the “guilts” and the “strict parent”. I want to make her feel ok and rescue her at all expense, yet I want to yell at her so she learns her lesson. When she called a few minutes later and asked, “Since I am just sitting here can you come pick me up?” I told her I needed to get more information and would get back to her. This is the first time I did not react with a super plan to rescue her or a super plan to make her feel bad about herself. Instead, I let it rest and simmer for a minute while I meditated and talked to God. It became clear that this may be one of those times when I let the lesson be the teacher an give her the dignity of her own uncomfortableness. This was not easy. I especially found it difficult because every sentence I wanted to say to her included criticism and judgement. I wanted to tell her, “Well you should have remembered your stuff, its not my fault!” or “You can just sit at school and suffer, maybe you’ll get it this time!” These reactions are all programs I’ve been running for a very long time.
After a long talk with God, I felt good about how to proceed. I had to be honest without humiliating. I simply told her that I had already made appointments and plans for the day and I would be there at the normal time. It felt wonderful to take care of myself and to respond instead of react. BLT was also given an opportunity to create a new groove in her subconscious regarding the consequences of choices.
Of course, chewing on the fact that I did not rescue her, I was sure pick up time was going to be full of quiet pouting… on the contrary! BLT was pleasant and cheerful as any other day. I thank BLT for teaching me how to remain in integrity at any cost!!!